Military Humor: Simple yet eloquent statements

• "AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY."
  -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

• "WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND."
  -US Marine Corps

• "CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE
  BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND."
  -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

• "IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU."
  -Infantry Journal

• "A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE
  WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR
  IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT."
  -Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

• "IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU
  JUST BOMBED."
  -US. Air Force manual

• "TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO."
  -Infantry Journal

• "TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS."
  -U.S. Army Ordnance

• "FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS."
  -Infantry Journal

• "BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."
  -David Hackworth

• "IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH."
  -Infantry Journal

• "NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION."
  -Joe Gay

• "ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER....ONCE."
  -Anon

• "NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO."
  -Unknown Marine Recruit

• "DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU."
  -Infantry Journal

• "IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM."
  -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop